web watch 2006 - doctor slang
All professions have their own slang – verbal shortcuts internal to their discipline that are meant to be obscure to outsiders.
Cops call mental patients "Green Tags," tow truck drivers call Fords "Found On Road, Dead" and real estate agents call For Sale By Owner properties "Fizzbos."
But doctors? You don't want to know ...
For instance, if you hear "LGFD" whispered over the waiting room phone, it usually means "Looks good from door."
If you hear "Organ Donor" anywhere near an emergency room, likely a motorcyclist is being referred to – they're usually headed to the "Rocket Room" for swift transfer to heaven.
Sometimes a patient is labelled "SRI" – something wrong inside – requiring a "SWAG" – a scientific wild ass guess.
Then there's the diagnosis of "CRI" – cranial-rectal inversion (head-up-ass syndrome).
But lets face it. Being a doctor is tough.
And sometimes they measure their shift by the "GPH" – goddamns per hour.